i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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