Do you still have your period?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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