he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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