this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize