so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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