My girlfriend figured out who you are.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize