I am spending my child support on dildos
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize