made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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