okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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