Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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