I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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