I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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