so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize