so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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