i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize