I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fuck appropriateness.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize