yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize