That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize