sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
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Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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