I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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