is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize