I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Mom said you looked used
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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