So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize