I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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