Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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