Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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