he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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