Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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