He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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