He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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