I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize