U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
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Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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