the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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