Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize