Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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