hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
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He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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