you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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