Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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