im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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