theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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