its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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