i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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