took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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