wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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