yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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