My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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