i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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