Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
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Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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