Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize