the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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